Woman frustrated with online dating online dating for boomers

The outcry comes from my clients, from readers who respond to my dating blogs, and from close friends who are dating. It’s hard, it’s not always fun, and it can be exhausting.I myself had the outcry during my long tenure as a single person. The good news is that you are not alone or abnormal in feeling discouraged; it’s actually normal and often is part of the process.To help identify unhealthy patterns, write out a timeline of several past relationships. Quite the contrary; you can have acceptance while still working hard to meet a great potential partner.Write down common characteristics of those partners, why you broke up, common feelings that you had around them. Do you feel good about what you have to offer, and clear about what you need in life to feel fulfilled? Acceptance, instead, has to do with acknowledging your life as it is right now.

Allow yourself to recognize the painful emotions that come up.

Past issues can prevent you from moving forward in your love life because you’re not able — or ready– to let go of a past relationship.

It might be that you still have feelings for an ex, or are still in contact with them, and are having trouble picturing yourself with someone new.

The bottom line is that if you think your past love might be holding you back, he or she probably is.

Before you can open the door to a new relationship, it’s important that you have closure. This means that you find yourself in different relationships that all sort of look the same. At this point, it’s more about continuing to take care of yourself and not getting even more discouraged by the fact that dating is still taking a bit longer than you expected.

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It might mean that you consistently find yourself with “unavailable” partners who have trouble committing, or find yourself being the one who “takes care” of the other person, leaving you feeling taken advantage of. You must find ways to not give up your hope of finding love.

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